September 5th, 2002

Owl Side

Small Realizations

I looked back today at some old IM conversations. At the time, they resembled knife wounds in the chest, with respect to the effect they had on me. Yet I looked again today and saw things that I hadn't seen before. Perhaps it's the distance of time that gives such perspective, or the lack of searing dependency. Either way, I saw things.

And I realized things that warmed an ache I'd been carrying for over a year. Things that lifted the metaphorical burden, so to speak. Things that assauged my broken logic and intuition.

It's rather a gestalt effect, I suppose, seeing the bits and pieces come together. I realize that if I hadn't been quite so self-involved on this point, I might have realized much earlier and saved my angst points for later. But such as it is. I'm learning. Life's about learning, right? That's what they say, etc, etc, etc.

Or maybe I just need to be reading about computational neuroscience for 4 hours in order to get insight. Bonus.
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