Jalen Strix (jalenstrix) wrote,
Jalen Strix

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..is an odd thing. Cleansing, but odd. At least, conscious un-repression is.

Walking under the moonlight last night, I wanted to be able to forgive, but couldn't. Today, I can forgive but don't want to. But it's nice to know that I can, if a bit unnerving.

Though it does fit with my contrary streak - as soon as I decide I can't-ever-won't-ever-nope-forget-it-not-for-the-moon-on-a-stick, the contrary streak urges me towards whatever it is I didn't want to do. Because I know that it does that, I can use it to my advantage sometimes.

But I didn't want to be urged towards forgiveness this time - self-preservation, etc, etc. Though maybe this is a different kind of self-preservation. Being cold and angry doesn't sit well with me for extended periods of time.

[wry grin] Or maybe I'm just saying that to provoke the contrary streak again.
Tags: drama, ross

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