Sadly, my advisor didn't agree. It was summarily cut apart, cobbled together, discarded, and generally brutalized. In about half an hour. But what a half an hour.
And when I look at the end result, yes, it's nice and clean-cut. But I clearly didn't write it. The style is blocky (but efficient). Mine is definitely more florid. And I look back at the original one my advisor hated, and I don't really see anything wrong with it still.
Obviously, I need much work in this business of abstract writing.