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Endearment Things

In general, I notice that I have a sort of "caste system of endearments" when talking to people I know. It tends, however, to be rather backwards in places -

acquaintances: nothing at all

friends: sweetie, sweetheart, honey, babe, baby, darling, sweet pea

very close friends: love, lovely; (adjective) thing - i.e. "Sneaky thing", "Thin Thing", etc.; sir or Lady (noun) [Noted Exception: Paris gets sweetheart, darling, and baby quite often.]

sigoths: nothing at all; occasionally sir or a single moniker like "Angel", "Prince Charming", "Lord Hawk"; very occasionally (adjective) thing - "Shiny Thing"

For whatever reason, I find it unnatural to call the closest people to me the more classical types of endearments (honey, babe, etc.). Possibly because I want to personalize them - but that doesn't explain why I tend to be most comfortable calling my significant others nothing at all. I could go all melodramatic and blather about how such people "transcend mere words"...and maybe they do, after a fashion.

But I know it's caused some friction - people thinking I like them less than I do because I don't have the classical endearments for them. People who don't understand that they've been upgraded rather than downgraded (or vice versa). I explain it to them if they ask, of course, but for the ones who don't ask...sigh.

On the plus side, I like having a "twist" sometimes in my interactions.
Uh huh...
What? What?!
[pointed look]
Oh, fine - I like being a psychological mindfuck sometimes. Happy?
Quite. [wry grin]
Oy.

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2002 05:44 am (UTC)
but...
But, if acquaintances and sigoth are both nothing (with occational specific moniker how should they understand?)
jalenstrix
Feb. 7th, 2002 06:05 am (UTC)
Re: but...
If it's the difference between sigoth and acquaintance, they'll usually be able to tell by the accompanying "I love you"s and affection which pepper written and spoken communication. (But then again, maybe not - hence, potential problem.)
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2002 09:13 am (UTC)
Re: but...
Yes, but that means it is more then just 'nothing' or special monikers, thus if they are sigoth then they can tell by the special monikers and the "I love you"s, thus sigoth should be: 'nothing', occationally special moniker' and accompanying "I love you"s
jalenstrix
Feb. 7th, 2002 10:02 am (UTC)
Re: but...
Mmm...good point. Plus, there's all the physical affection. Truthfully, most of the confusion probably comes between the friends and close friends, in non-physical communication (i.e. IM, phone, etc.).
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2002 01:32 pm (UTC)
well
Well, that's an inherent flaw in IM communication, or any digital communication. For instance jokes don't always go over as well on IM
jalenstrix
Feb. 7th, 2002 03:53 pm (UTC)
Re: well
True. And since a great deal of interaction happens over IM, thus the confusion and friction in the endearments category.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2002 04:04 pm (UTC)
Re: well
Of course the fix for that is have less IM and more in person conversation interactions. (Yes yes I know not always easy when people have such busy schedules) But it seems with your system (assuming you don't regularly forget the descriptions) that it should be clear. Of course I've found some people don't always realize how much they mean to others
jalenstrix
Feb. 8th, 2002 03:09 pm (UTC)
Re: well
And that, I think, is where the trouble comes - I have no idea what it means to someone else when I call them "sweetie" vs "sir" vs nothing at all. I only know what it means to me.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 8th, 2002 08:33 pm (UTC)
Re: well
*nod* usually though after awhile people should figure out what you mean (or should ask). I mean I would take 'sir' as a sign of respect (or as humor given the context), and "sweetie" as a term of indearment used towards a friend (if followed by other things or behavior irl, perhaps take it to mean more). *shrug* Could just be how I take it, given the people that use that when refering to me.
halophoenix
Feb. 13th, 2002 01:59 pm (UTC)
::pout::
I don't know if I really know where I fall here....or maybe I'm just scared of where I do....::pout::
jalenstrix
Feb. 13th, 2002 02:19 pm (UTC)
Re: ::pout::
Awwww....I adore you. Period.
:)
(Anonymous)
Feb. 13th, 2002 07:28 pm (UTC)
*ponder*
wonder where I fall.
jalenstrix
Feb. 14th, 2002 05:51 am (UTC)
Re: *ponder*
Well, if you bother to comment in here, I think you're (at the very least) hon. ;)
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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